Intro:
The persona, or social mask, by its very nature is the essence of extraversion. Introverts live an in extraverted world and are often clumsy in their efforts to make a persona. The extravert lives and breathes as their persona. I explore the differences in personas between extraverts and introverts.
Introverts are forced to adapt to extraverted society
Introverts are defined in terms of how they fail to be extravert – “quiet”, “to themselves”. Interestingly enough, introverts know extraverts better than extraverts know introverts. While we are quiet, we are immersed in an extravert-dominant world, and forced to adapt to it or suffer the consequences, being marginalized, excluded from the cool peer groups, whether we seek such isolation or suffer from it due to not behaving like extraverts. The choice for us is find a role in friendships or social situations or being isolated to the point of psychopathology, not knowing how to fit in. Therefore, I describe our attempts to fit in as a “clumsy improv persona”. Given a situation with specific people, we improvise a means of interacting with these people. With certain people a social mask is created and this may differ considerably from the true personality of the introvert, thus rendering it “clumsy”.
The Extravert’s Well-Crafted Persona
With extraverts, a single persona is the norm. The energy of connecting to people can be focused and organized into a coherent whole. People in the extravert’s social circle “know” him or her by virtue of this personality. Through trial and error, the extravert hones and crafts his/her persona, which engulfs the entire psyche. Due to frequent practice the extravert can perfect a single persona, his or her personality known to his/her family, friends, and acquaintances.
Introverts’ Personas
In the specific situations of creating friendships, seeking peer-group participation, and general social interaction, introverts must adapt to the behaviors and personalities of specific people. Typically an extravert will assume a dominant role, thereby forcing the introvert please him or her, that is, attempt to please him or her. Often the social context is games or sports. The extraverts outside are playing baseball, football, riding bikes, etc and the introvert must participate in whatever activity is taking place. I recall being indoors as a 6 year old, hearing kids play outside, riding their bikes. I understood at that time, learning to ride my bike was mandatory and therefore under that stimulus, I learned to ride my bike. In early education settings, playtimes, recess, introverts figure out what they enjoy, make their friendships, figure out which roles they play. The leaders of games are the extraverts and their specific personalities are what we adapt to.
My first coherent persona, albeit clumsy, was class clown. With regularity I could elicit laughter and/or approval by saying or doing funny things. This persona ebbed and flowed depending on the kids surrounding me at each grade level. Some grades were quiet periods, like 3rd grade, when I dealt with the embarrassment of getting glasses. By the 5th grade I reached the peak level of class clown, to a pathological degree, being disruptive and extreme, being known as mischievous, having mental health issues. In the 6th grade, this dysfunction veered into delinquency, breaking windows, being kicked out of the library, being told by my teacher I was “no good” as she looked at my lengthy file of misbehaviors. This was in spite of my good grades, manifest intellectual capacity. My social ineptitude constituted a different existential realm from my private life of reading encyclopedias, almanacs, wanting to learn about the world, master the world in my own odd intellectual way.
Perhaps more typical, is a quiet pleasant conforming persona, not making waves. By creating drama with my clumsy persona, my outward life undermined any successes of my inner life. The world’s rules are made by extraverts. If you do not obey these rules, you suffer, regardless of your private intellectual attainments. I was always self-educated and only intermittently got good grades. In later years, I very gradually matured into an adult with a more social skills, with a more “normal” persona, though I always kept my improvisational wit and humor.
The Introvert’s Advantage
My advantage, being a very inquisitive, curious introvert, is that I know extraverts, their world, better than they know my inner world. We are all forced to adapt to the outer world, crafted by extraverts. By contrast, there is no incentive for extraverts to adapt to the inner worlds of introverts, except in the rare cases of intimate friendships and relationships. Such adaptations may not be necessary, given that the introvert may totally play the subservient role, pleasing the extravert while keeping the private realm private. The real life option is venturing into various public realms with other people, society at large, while having the safe harbor of one’s own private realm of interests and hobbies. To the extent that the introvert chooses to make this private realm public, he/she becomes more extraverted, develops and enriches his/her personality. To me, the option of these two worlds is better than being stuck in the outer world, with “the pressure to perform”. We introverts feel fatigue from too much social interaction, while understanding a certain degree is mandatory. We feel drained by social or interpersonal demands whereas extraverts are energized by this. With social media being prevalent, we introverts can selectively interact, then withdraw, as we see fit. I see this as an advantage. But I am obviously biased.